This weekend has been my first getaway from the orphanage. A family who has a cottage on the beachfront graciously let me use it for free to get some rest and relaxation. But it has been a great time by myself to reflect on the first 4 months of my job.
Two boys who I really have struggled to connect with brought be to the cottage and I felt for the first time that they really respected me. It was a great feeling.
There is this deep love for these kids, that has always been in my heart, but now it beats more than ever and I find myself really unable to go back to life without them. How can I just end this time after a year and not be in their lives?

One of the huge obstacles for the kids, especially the teenagers, is education. They schools they have are TERRIBLE. I have teenagers coming to me, saying please take us out of school! I cannot work there! I want to learn! Home school us if you have to!! The hard part is to see teenagers who really care and work really hard fail their classes, even when we have done as much tutoring as we can.
As you can see, here are a few photos of the local school and some kids in the courtyard.

This is Thathu, the youth pastor, here at our orphanage and he is GREAT! He is such a jokester and connects with the teenagers so much. He has such a great balance between being a "clown" and yet being very serious when needed. The kids have matured so much from him. It been a pleasure to work with him.

Now a days the kids are so burdened by the brokenness of their surrounding community that I am helping them organize some community outreach projects. That is AWESOME!!!!

Thanksgiving 2011.

Thursday November 24th, was incredibly un-thanksgiving-like. My day consisted of planning meetings and then doing my first of a series of career seminars for the teenagers. It was an incredibly stressful and crazy day of rushing here and there, getting things organized, talking to this person and that person, making sure things got to where they needed to be, etc. At the end of the day my friend, Dan (the other American here), and I sat together, completely exhausted and said to each other, "I can't believe its Thanksgiving. All the Americans are sitting on their lush sofas watching football and eating tons of food right now." We looked at each other for a moment to try to read whether we were sad to miss out. "Nah, its better here!!!" we both smiled. But actually, on Saturday, we ended up hosting a VERY LARGE Thanksgiving dinner for 25 people (3 of which were American), showing the other nationalities what it was all about! It really felt like I got in my holiday after all.

One of the Friday rituals is to go do our food shopping and have breakfast together and this photo shows some of the volunteers with me as we finish up a nice breakfast at a place that is supposed to be Hawaiian, called Kawaii. The Zulu people working there say in a monotone, boring voice, "Aloha" to greet costumers. Its SO ridiculous.
I just have loved to get to know the volunteers. They are all so special and supportive and have become my family. The sad part of it is that they leave so soon, most of them leaving before Christmas. But they have truly been such a team and support for me in my work.

One of the struggles that I have been experiencing is the need to prioritize my relationships with the oldest kids. But many of the kids I was closest to were not the oldest ones. So feeling a bit of the tugs and pulls from all over as to whom I should spend my time with. I don't want to feel the separation from the ones I have loved so much, yet I can't always spend time with them now. So its been a struggle to deal with that. I have kids ask often to do things with me, but my schedule is overwhelming sometimes and I just can't. And I feel sad. There is absolutely too much to do here and I have to really be careful not to spread myself out too thin with all the kids that I could invest in. It truly cannot be about need or else we would all drop dead. I am so glad Jesus takes our work and multiplies it and works things out for his good ways.
But this weekend was special because I was able to spend some time
with some of the middle kids that I spent so much time with on my last trips. These guys kept me in tears (of laughter) in my other trips here and this time around I have really missed my time with them. I had some of the boys at my place, too, for some homemade fries and cake. We did facial scrubs as well! They are totally into that, its so funny!
A couple of them are friends who live in the nearby township where life is much more difficult. I actually have been to their homes and it is a simple and difficult life. It is so nice that the friends can come sometimes and have a place to hang that is safe from street life that is so destructive.

My friend Dan has been here for a few weeks now! He is a great artist, photographer, and videographer. It is so fun for the kids to have him here. He is really introducing a lot to them all, from Photoshop to photography. He has also taken a lot of video footage of everyday life, and then at the end of the day, we sit together and watch and LAUGH. Oh, it is never a dull moment here!!! Today we all gathered in the office and laughed so hard. The kids are really getting comfortable with Dan and really enjoying his presence and humor. They are really getting to explore and learn.

I have been pretty overwhelmed this week with my job. It is like climbing a huge mountain. And now is the time that I must know the crazy big God that I serve and wait for Him to do the work in the teenagers' hearts. Some of them are so hardened and broken, and obstinent. So it is really hard to get through. But I am not going to look at the mountain, but just the next step in front of me. We'll see what happens.

Here are some random photos from my week. We drew mustaches on some of the older boys when they were moody and tired to try to make them smile. They were THRILLED (sarcasm). That was hilarious.


This past weekend I was able to go to a rugby game in Durban! We took about 13 older kids and they had a blast. Rugby is not the main sport they like to watch, but they had a great time. This girl with me is one of the girls who I have connected with so much. She has a great heart and is so eager and open. I look forward to see what God does in her life.

A highlight of my week: Sunday night my good friend from church, Dan, came! He is here for 6 weeks to do some professional photography workshops with the kids as well as computer graphics lessons. It is GREAT to have him here and the kids are so excited! He is getting his bearings and starting some of the workshops today with the older kids.

This past week, the kids were on vacation from school and so we ran some organized team activities that were really fun for the kids and juvenile grown ups like myself! We worked in teams all week and had to come up with songs, dance routines, do a variety of things like obstacle courses, paintball battles, and pool races. I was the leader of the older girls team and really bonded with them through it! I continue to build relationships with them, which can be hard at times. But everyday it reminds me of God's love for me--there were so many times he tried to come near to me and I just didn't let him in. I am so thankful for a God who doesn't give up.

Here is one of the older girls who I have been getting to know. One things she absolutely loves, is taking care of the toddlers. I can totally see her running a day care someday. And they just adore her.
The big challenge for me nowadays is connecting with the oldest boys, so you can pray for me!

Just want to show you the view from my front door. I am blessed with a small one bedroom apartment that a New Yorker would pay BIG bucks to have as a vacation spot! Over looking a game reserve, I can wake up and look over the "veranda" to the hills to find giraffe and perhaps a wilder beast herd running through the field. It is an amazingly beautiful and peaceful view from by front door. Sometimes the kids walk down (5 minutes) from their houses to come to my apartment and so I get a nice mix of quiet and company (I also have 3 neighbors).

This weekend we helped the teenagers plan a big dance party, with decorations, a dress theme, and great DJ-ing! It was a blast! they had so much fun! And WOW no one can dance like a Zulu!!!!!

And for all those who know how much I love to bake, amongst all the things I am doing, one project that I am doing is helping some of the teenagers to start selling small cakes at school. They are getting so into it, from scoping the market (there are other kids who sell cakes) to pricing, to the actual baking, it is so fun to see them get excited about this!

Week 2 done! Wow, the weeks are flying by here and every day makes me more and more excited about what I am doing! God is so good because as we struggle with Him, He then brings great blessings. He brings us, in His time, into things He wants us to do that we ALSO LOVE. He is so kind in that way.
This week I really dug into the planning and also did a lot more with the older kids. There are about 30 of them, so it takes time to connect with everyone and it is a bit challenging to know who to focus on. All the little kids want to bake cakes with me, but it is hard to say no.
Amongst some of the activities this week, was a great fellowship group last night with the teenagers. We talked about God's faithfulness to us and ours to Him. Awesome discussion and I was amazed at how the kids are maturing in their faith!
Then, this morning we decided to go on a 14km (9 mile!!!!!) run! I have been running on the road on the property, so a group of staff and older kids, who play soccer and are in pretty good shape, ran out onto the public road through the farmland! At our halfway marker, there were huge fields of sugarcane and the kids broke off a stalk to chew on and get some refreshment. Man, the way back was hard and long and I probably would have passed out if I didn't have the sugarcane stalk!! But I just barely beat all the boys back, except one!!

So today was quite a day! We had a brush fire break out and sweep across the huge fields we have. And there is no such thing as a fire department in these parts so everyone sort of knows how to fight fires on their own. All the staff and children knew what to do, and so the American learned a lot! Take a branch and hit the fire! Who knew that would be the way to do it! It rushed up to the back window of my house, and I had my important things in my hands ready to get out! After about 3 hours of running water buckets here and there, swinging branches, and lots of help and strategy the fire burned itself out. But our nice field is a bit black now. But nothing burned and no one was hurt. Never a dull moment.

I finished my first week here! It involved quite a bit of everything! My time now is mostly focusing on major planning for the teenagers, so I spend the mornings working on that. Then in the afternoons when the kids come home from school, I focus on reconnecting with them, just hanging out. It has been so great to be back in their lives again! I baked a cake with some, watched movies with others, sat in on some hip hop dance practices (the boys are preparing for a competition), and did a few bonfires for the older kids.

This week the orphanage was short drivers, so I drove some of the little girls to a special day camp for kids with serious diseases and they were able to get their faces painted, dress up, get their nails done, play fun games, eat lots of cakes, and meet Miss South Africa 2006!

But now I see why God has brought me back here. For the past few months, I felt His urgency for me to come and the importance of it, but I wondered if it was just my own feelings or impulses. But now I see how clearly God did speak! It is so great to see that and know that as the challenges start to come, He has made it very clear that I am the one for this job, even if I don't feel like I am up for it at times.

Sorry I haven't written for so long!! SO much has happened. It has been a week of intense and very sad goodbyes, then sightseeing, then a lot of joyful hellos!
My last day in New York I spent with my very special friend on the beach, having some final quality time together on a perfect sunny summer day. That was then followed by frantic final packing and then a rush off to the airport in the evening for the first of 2 overnight flights (and I don't sleep on airplanes!).
But actually I managed to get a few hours of interrupted sleep, however I got a terrible migraine and ALMOST threw up in front of everyone during landing!
Recovered quickly to rush into my 10 hour lay-over in London! Met a friend for lunch and then walked and "Tubed" around the city! It was such a peaceful and beautiful city. I had never been there and was able to see a lot of the main attractions. Then back to the airport for my second overnight flight. And THAT one was pretty hard.
Then I had a 5 hour lay-over in Johannesburg where I had to continually walk around or move, as I would instantly doze off if I didn't.

BUT I MADE IT! And I was bombarded with hugs and screams! And that moment made it all worth it!! Now I am starting to unpack my job and find my barings with my daily routine. One day at a time!

I can't believe I'm here again!!!

The past few weeks have been characterized by much running around, especially countless times to the South African consulate. Luckily there is never a line (or I should say a Que!). Today, I went for the last time, retrieving my visa! DONE!!!! On the way, I pass a corner each time at 42nd street and 2nd Ave, where Nelson Mandela meets the Chrysler Building. It is a special sight, and each time causes me to stop for a moment.




Another part of my days has been cleaning up and cleaning out! I have so much stuff that I haven't looked at for years! So going through my stuff has been quite a process, throwing it away, giving it away, organizing it. Luckily the summer has not been so hot, so I can spend the days in my NOT-air conditioned room. One week it was over 100 degrees, but otherwise, it has been tolerable. But definitely I have been a beach bum! Taking trips on the subway to get out to the beach nearly every weekend!

I am thankful for God's grace. He is patient and kind with all my crazy emotions, one day to the next is a new and crazy thought process and emotion-mostly of course super dramatic. FEAR, EXCITEMENT, JOY, SADNESS...DOUBT...TEARS. The goodbyes will be so hard but the hello's to the kids will be SO wonderful!

YES, believe it or not, New York City has it own beaches! And the hot summer sun draws everyone out there! This picture does not show the crowds that flock out to the beach, where you stand on the trains jammed in like rush hour, except its beach Saturday rush hour.

I haven't written for a long time. I have been deep in thought, deep in turmoil, deep in "What do I do?! Have I really made the right decision!?"...You may be wondering what has happened with my decision to go to South Africa. It has been a hard decision. It has been one that takes a HUGE amount of trust that God will be faithful and really take care of me and see me through. It is a position that is what I am so excited about and uses my talents, but also it is going to be incredibly difficult. So, I have been in some deep turmoil over what I should do. But I have come out the other side feeling that I need to trust God and give him the opportunity to show himself to me. If I decide to back out, it will be counting God as dead, as not-living, not able to speak or to show himself to his people. Therefore, I bank on his words and his leading.

It is now a count down, about 5 weeks to go until I leave this great city, this World Central to go to a little township, off the beaten world path, in Nowhere Land so to speak, to build into the lives of these special kids that God cares for.

Just when I was really beginning to wonder if God was really there anymore, as door after door was closing, and my finances were dwindling, God came through. Two very good friends sent me money that eased the financial urgency of my situation, without me even asking them. That gave me freedom and encouragement to really 'bust a move' on the job search, but not have to just settle for some awful job.
Then soon after, I was offered a paid position at the orphanage where I have been volunteering! The position involves working with the teenagers, helping them to transition into 'real life' and prepare to be on their own, something that I am very passionate about doing. My heart is with those kids, and would love to be a part of helping them.
It took me some time, however, to come to a decision. The actuality of completely moving out of New York, to a far away place suddenly freaked me out. I didn't want to give up the comforts of home and friendships suddenly. And my soul began to get very anxious. And finally after sometime of thinking I said, "No, God, I think its going to be too much. I have too many weaknesses. I'm not very good with this and that..."
And he prompted me to pick up the devotional book I had (My Utmost for His Highest) on that day, May 5th, and I first glanced down at the bottom paragraph. And even though I read this in the quiet of my heart, it was like God had belted it out of the heavens on a bullhorn to me:

"If Jesus ever gave us a command He could not enable us to fulfil, He would be a liar; and if we make our inability a barrier to obedience, it means we are telling God there is something He has not taken into account. Every element of self-reliance must be slain by the power of God. Complete weakness and dependence will always be the occasion for the Spirit of God to manifest His power. "

"Ok, God! Ok!"

JUST when you think God is too quiet....WWHHHOOOOAAAA!!! ....

Spring in New York

Life back in the big city has been hard, but I'm getting more used to it. I am loving being back in Central Park running the road that winds through the blooming trees. And it has been so wonderful to be back with my friends. But with the city rushing around me, everyone going to work, seeing friends, getting things done, overworking, overplaying, I feel at times like I am still lost in a world far away. I feel like one of those movies, like "Lord of the Rings", where everything turns slow motion and silent, and I feel detached from everything around me.

I think the hardest part is the silence of God. He has been so silent. I have tried everything to open doors and find His way. But I guess sometimes His answer is just to wait in the uncertainty. And every door is closed. I know that there are always times when He is quiet, those are the times of faith building. And so I wait. And try. And wait.

Today I received another closed door in the city. I have been planning to go back to school and set everything up for the fall, even the summer, but somehow everything got messed up and now I must re-apply all over again, and it is too late to fix this problem for the fall. I just feel like God is closing every door in order that He might open another soon. But sometimes I get discouraged and wonder if He will come through for me.

My heart is with the kids and would LOVE to work at the orphanage. There may be a possibility of going back and actually having a position there, but I haven't heard anything yet. So, I have to wait. Somehow I feel better today, though, like God really IS there and really IS planning something better. We'll see what unfolds.

Thirdly, I just am continually reminded of who is in control. It is not me who has this amazing strength or amazing great character. But I really learned to give everything over to God. From the little to big things, this place was a testing ground of trust. There were so many things that we could not control, as if we were swimming in the sea and were out too far and the waves were completely over our heads. In New York, our lifestyle really does not give us the opportunity to "need God" as much. Everyday there was something. Water, our storage bottles are running low and the water is not on yet! Instead of panicking, we prayed. The kids are struggling with behaviors and the social workers have too much work! Instead of panicking, we prayed. Our refrigerator just broke and there will be another moving in soon! Instead of panicking we prayed. I have bugs in my bed! Instead of panicking I prayed. Wow, I don't feel cut out for this work today! Instead of getting discouraged, I prayed. God showed himself living, and came through in every situation. It was amazing. And I learned so much about walking with the living God and giving him my struggles and letting him take care of me.

Secondly, in New York there is a definite fad of social activism, of serving orphans and poor. Of course that is ultimately great and so much better to have a fad of activism vs. laziness. But as I spent extended time with the kids in a place with many challenges, I felt how easily that kind of motivation fell away and the deep love of Christ really had to fuel me. To really love takes SO MUCH more guts, deep strength, tenacity, and unconditional love, which a cool fad cannot provide. It was important for me not to get caught into the fads of community service, but to stay focused on God's ways of service. To really be in the lives of the kids in such a way to help them process God's ways and help them not to sink in the destructive ways of the world--that is different. They are all on the brink of sinking--there is so much in their lives that pulls them, such brokenness in the community that they interact with--drug abuse, sex, alcohol, dreams of materialism. There is so much going against them as well--complicated health issues, emotional scars, and terrible educational systems. It makes for such a hopeless and empty soul-pit in their lives that they want to fill with everything they can find. It takes so much to really see their deeper needs and to try to help them set their precious hearts on The Rock. You really suffer greatly when you love kids (or anyone). Your heart breaks when theirs breaks, when they go the wrong ways, when they don't care about what is right. But you keep fighting for them. I am so glad God didn't give up on me when I was (and still sometimes am!) the same as them!

"I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings..." Philippians 3:10

So what are all the things that I have taken back from my experience? So much!!!!! Let me take some time and share.

First, I appreciate running water!!!! I understand now what a "need" is and a "want". Here in New York we say things like, "I need a manicure!"or "I need an IPad!". But in South Africa we had to ask God for our daily water. We really had to depend on him to supply the basics of life and really understood how much we needed. It was great to watch Him supply everything when we really needed it! Here is a video of the JOYS of having RUNNING WATER AGAIN!

Wow, I am back in the city that is the center of all sophistication. I am walking around as if I am from another planet, awe-struck at how stylish, beautiful, high-maintenance people are. How much people "need" in order to be "happy" or have a good time. We had to rely on God everyday for enough water to fill our water bottles to wash our dishes and ourselves! I had 3 t-shirts that I wore the whole trip! And the kids owned less!
Wow, I sound like someone's grandmother who had to walk 15 miles to school everyday in the rain and snow. But I understand now how grandmothers feel when they see others live in a whole different perspective.

I am still getting used to standing up for shower with amazing, hot running water!!

These kids came to the airport with me to see me off. It was so great to have them come, they kept me laughing till the bitter end (they are legendary comedians!). But then the tears gushed after the security check point. Of course I had to sit between 2 young guys on my first flight, and was sobbing the whole time. They thought I was out of my mind.

But really, how will I continue on without their jokes!?

Anyway, I am sort of stunned and so have no words to share, no deep thoughts, no nothing. I think they will come later. But I thank God for letting me go back and I see His purposes so much in this trip. I'll write more soon.

LEAVING

How can I even start to describe the last week and coming back to New York. I don't even know where to begin. All I can say is that my heart is completely ripped out of me and it has been a LOT harder to be back this time. I think I really deepened friendships with the kids this time around and so it made it much harder for me. I didn't even hardly remember being on the airplane home, I was completely in another world.



Over my final weekend, the volunteers and kids threw me a surprise going away party (including strange animal costumes) and it was incredibly special!
I was totally surprised too!

Wow, the days are counting down!

Just letting those know who will see me when I get back! Don't be alarmed when you see huge bruises on my elbows and knees. I actually got a mild concussion and massive bruising on my hips, back, arms, and legs. From what! you ask? Car accident? Heroically saving a child from danger??
The answer: a massive slip-n-slide and having too much fun! I of course was being my overly-intense self and running at full speed into a pile of teenagers who were supposed to get out of the way!

Here is one of the cutest little toddlers I have ever seen! His name is Gift and he was enjoying some slip-n-slide time as well (of course in a safe way, unlike me!).

The challenge now is to say goodbye to 120 kids in so short a time. But this time I have a sense that it really not a final good bye.

Less than 2 weeks left!

I am starting to get that strange, sad feeling that I am leaving soon. I am feeling this bittersweet-ness: getting excited to go home and see friends and sleep in my own bed again, compounded with this deep sadness that is coming on stronger everyday that I have to say goodbye to this place and these beautiful faces. I have LOVED being back with the kids in a way I cannot describe, almost as if they were my own kids. I have loved the relationships that I built with the volunteers and the close, close friendships that have come from this time. Oh, I think the next week and a half is going to be hard! But I really feel that this is not the end of me here!

HIGHLIGHTS OF THE LAST WEEK IN FEBRUARY

This week has been another great and fast week. Last weekend the weather was warm and sunny and the kids were able to get the water slide out (bottom picture). Then, we played an intense game of Rugby with the little kids (second photo) and spent some time with little Samkelo (right).

This week I was able to do a lot of reports and get a lot of things done for the social workers. My days start off with a 6:30am run (some days, others I run in the evening), come home and have breakfast and head to the office (a 30 second walk) around 7:45 or 8am. I work the day in the office until around 5 or 5:30. After that I get off of work, I usually run with some of the teenage girls (if i haven't run in the morning). OR the volunteers have started to play some intense pick-up games of soccer with the teenage boys in the sunset. That has been so fun! Yesterday I ran in the morning and then we ended up playing soccer from 6 to 7:30pm! I can barely walk today! It is just bliss, though, running up and down the grass field with the beautiful sunset over the hills, and just playing hard with the kids. It has been a great way to bond with them.
Then, in the evenings, around 8pm, we have different activities like bible study for the teenage girls, our own bible study, cook dinner with kids or with each other, watch movies , or just have dinner together and talk. And then go to bed at 10pm!!!





These kids know how to play! All they need is a piece of cardboard and they are turning it into an amazing toy and traveling to other universes! It is great to see them be so purely children! They don't need anything complicated or high tech. They just love to play! It is great to just sit outside the door of the house that overlooks the field where they are and just watch them.

SOUTH AFRICAN SIGNAGE!


Just wanted to take a moment and share the unusual South African signage. I even saw one sign (and did not have my camera unfortunately!!!) which actually said, "Caution: Chickens working."

You can also meet my roommate, Jess, in the photo with me. She
has been such a blessing as a housemate in our crazy house that constantly has all sorts of things going on! We have weathered the house issues together! This week our refrigerator AND stove broke. It has been a struggle of borrowing various stoves and frigs to make due, not to mention the fact that we constantly have about 10-12 frogs in our house. We have just come to terms with them. We're also getting pretty good at the routine of catching them and flinging them out the front door.

Today is Friday and another week is coming to a close. Time is FLYING by. God is definitely teaching us that He is in control of things. The kids have been struggling with their attitudes and behaviors lately and they were disciplined last week for some things they did. They were really upset about it, but it was very important. But mass discipline was hard work for us and just not the greatest thing for them. It was hard to fully enforce things and many of the good kids had to be in on the discipline as well.
I also see how much they need attention, support, and counseling. The social work department and the volunteers just aren't enough for them all. There is so much that they need that just cannot be given to them. We have felt overwhelmed and our prays in the last few weeks have been that God would come in this situation and be strong in our weakness, that he would change and minister to the kids' hearts in all the situations when we can't.
This week was an amazing change. The kids had great attitudes and we all had really wonderful times connecting with them. They had renewed kindness to us and to each other and some of the older kids felt the need to dedicate their lives to God. It was amazing to see all this happen when we had nothing left to give for 120 kids. I totally understand why it is so important to get kids into foster families now! Mass parenting is not the way to go!

WHAT I APPRECIATE!

I have a deep appreciation for:

1. the volunteers that I work with and the close fellowship we have. Here we are together catching a cheap movie.
2. movie prices! Friday night-$3.50
3. doing the dishes with running water!
4. doing laundry when there is running water and a sunny day!
5. no flies on the road when I go for a run (they often swarm you when you are out on the road).
6. God's grace to do everything that needs to be done everyday.
7. American brewed COFFEE (South African's don't care about coffee)!
8. Daily hugs from the 3-4 year olds as they go to their pre school program.

RAIN, FOSTER CARE, and I'M STAYING!

Here is one of the older boys, Mzizi, who LOVES to take a camera and take photos of himself (I have about 30 photos just like this). He is fun, smart and musically talented. He LOVES hip hop dancing and his dream is to go to school to become a professional dancer, and I actually see that it could be possible, as he is very gifted. He is also one of the responsible older boys who take care of the young children. He also loves to teach the little 4 year olds to dance hip hop as well. I really want to see him go on to college or dance school, I think he can if he really works hard.

This week it has rained and rained and rained and rained. Finally today the sun is out. Also, this week, all of the social workers are planning a foster care program for the Lily kids so it has been a really exciting week of meeting together, learning the South African foster care system, brainstorming and analyzing challenges, etc. It has been great to be a part of that. I have learned SO much.

It has been bliss for me to be here with the kids and there is so much for me to do with the social workers. There is such a great need for more social work support at this time here. God has put this deep love for this place in me, and now He has led me to stay longer. So I will be staying until mid-March. Wooo Hooo!

On a more serious note, it has been quite a journey to complete the reports in the social worker's office. Each day I read through the past of each of the kids. Each day I read all their abandonment, unwantedness, sickness, worthlessness, weaknesses, struggles, unlovedness. I read how families think they want to adopt, but then decide they don't. It breaks my heart and I just feel God's heart for them burn deep in me. I just long to stay here with them and show them how much they are loved by Our Great God. I long to show them how He takes broken, 'worthless' lives and does miracles and great things through them. Oh, I want them to know that!

WE BEAT THE BOYS!

In the last week, the volunteers (who are mostly girls), wanted to play soccer. Most of the older boys play soccer regularly and are really good players. We ended up playing a very competitive game with them in our bare feet. To there great shock, they lost the game 10 to 7.
But this meant war. They did not have 3 of their best players at that game and their pride was wounded. They wanted a rematch! We set the time, 5pm on what turned out to be a sweltering hot evening. Our best players suffered heat headaches during the day and we were all intimidated by the boys' intensity.
We started the game with a butterflies in our stomachs. No one scored for a good 10 minutes, all of us fighting for the ball and soon dripping in sweat. The boys were strong and had a great defense. We couldn't get anything past them. Then suddenly they scored. Oh, man!
But after their goal, they got a bit lazy and comfortable. We kept up the tenacity suddenly to their surprise we got a goal through! And then another! They were shocked once again! This could not be happening! Girls were beating them! How could this be!! They were supposed to be amazing players! They got frustrated and lost their teamwork and fire.
We fought for the ball with everything we had and our tenacity won the game. In the end we did a victory dance in their faces! We won 7 to 4!!! Of course it did not happen without sacrifice with Kierra spraining her foot badly and is now bedridden. They have been quieted. We'll see if they want a rematch!

African Thunderstorms

We had a massive thunderstorm that rolled over the lovely green hills. What an experience to see it coming! And then brought hurricane winds and huge hailstones! The electricity was out almost instantly and we all huddled in the office together to wait it out and watch the lightning come down around us. The electricity is back on, thank goodness.

The Bugman came and so tomorrow I can move back into the house I was staying! Hopefully bug free! There is a new volunteer who has come and so I have a roommate now, which is nice.

I have been working hard in the social work office and trying to figure out the balance between the office work and just hanging out with the kids. They are finishing up their holiday and have to go back to school Wednesday, so these are the final days for them to be free before they start the schoolwork grind. I have less than 2 weeks left here. Time sure flies!

It's midweek and time is flying. This weekend, it was little boy's birthday, Sanele. We had him come over to bake a cake and just hang out in our house. He is a sweet boy who struggles with a lot. I didn't really know him the last time I was here and it was great to spend some time with him.

This morning I woke up with more tiny tiny bugs all over me (another moment where I really thought I was going to die!). I also have a bad cold and so I am a bit exhausted and psychologically tramatized. :) But my house is being fumigated now. But hey! We've had lots of running water this week!

DAILY LIFE

I have been here for about a week and a half. It has been an amazing journey of trusting God for every basic need. April has gone and I am alone in an older house, whose water system is a bit more primative and tempermental. There is running water for perhaps a couple of hours each day and the trick is hopefully to be home during some part of that time to fill up the water jugs. Then basically, all the washing and water usage comes from those jugs. For sure, it is something to get used to but I have adapted well.

I had one bug incident that made me almost want to die (kidding) but I got through it.

But this is how living here is. It reminds me, especially at Christmas time, how uncomfortable it must have been for the God of the universe to come into our lives. What a daily lesson of His love.

It has been so great to be with the kids again. It has been absolute bliss for me. At first the little ones were confused and shy to see me, but the next day they got it and were at my door with excited faces. The older kids gave me huge hugs.

I have really been able to do a lot with the social workers. There are new social workers who don't know the kids very well and are very behind on their reports. I am helping them complete them and organize their charts and information, getting as much as possible on paper (often they just keep all sorts of things in their heads). In the afternoons, I take a break and play games with the kids, who are still on their Christmas holiday. They have another week and a half left before they all start a new school year. In the evenings I spend time getting to know the other volunteers, who are from around the world: London, Austria, Germany, South Africa, and Korea.

Sorry I can't provide any photos this time, but hope to send more out soon.

I'M BACK!!!
I am back! It is surreal to be back at this special place and to see all those beautiful faces again! I really cannot believe it! But what makes this trip EXTRA special is to share it with my amazing friend, April. It has been such a SPECIAL journey together. We have seen God do SO much just to get us to South Africa. And sharing our experience has been so wonderful.
Our first days were characterized by ADJUSTMENT. We had no running water for the first 2 days and bathed in buckets (woo hoo!!!) and fetched pool water to flush the toilet. But yesterday the water came on!!!!! We have never appreciated the luxury of running water more than that moment!!
OH, THE JOYS OF BEING ABLE TO FLUSH without a trip to the pool!

One of the most wonderful things is to connect again with all the kids. There were a group of kids that saw us driving up to our house and ran to meet us and carried all our suitcases into the house for us. It was such joy to be back with them and show them that I have not forgot them for ONE moment and also to see they hadn't forgotten about me either!

Some of the younger kids were shy when they saw me but after a day, they were running up to our house and wanting just to be with me and meet April. I wasn't sure how it would be to meet them again, and it was great.

Since it has been New Years, we've just been relaxing and playing with kids. We had a huge dance party on New Years and rang in 2011 with fireworks (kids doing fireworks, wow we're not in America anymore!!)

Its hot here, quite a change from the BLIZZARD that made our flight leave 3 hours late.